So dumb....

Life is an emotional rollarcoaster as always. I´m now actively engaged in a bet over who will crack first, I´m not allowed to smoke ANYTHING and Tony isn´t allowed to smoke or drink. It´s for homemade dinner. I have no intention on caving. Not this time. I need to quit anyways. I do miss my rainbow though.... probably going to go home and take painkillers so I can sleep early ahahaha

I move downtown tomorrow; I remain optimistic and excited despite continuous warnings of danger. ¨Don´t let them see your afraid¨ 50 points to whomever can name the movie. It´s a pretty sweet reference if I do say so myself.

Finally changed the language of my blog... should be much easier for ALL involved right now ahah

Is it bad also that I maintain some cop fantasies? Still none over Toronto, but there are some damn cute cops here, and half are probably corrupt so I don´t have to worry about my illicit habits (which I´m cut off from right now anyways I suppose). Apparently it´s a misdeamenor for them to wave. lol I´m so damn trouble for them then ahahahaha Anyways, I´m feeling highly affectionate.

It´s kind of crazy what happens in all of life sometimes. It often takes til you´ve lost something to appriciate that you had it in the first place. Of course that´s the black and white sentence of a whole fucking paragraph of gray. I still don´t know what I´m doing... in Mexico or out of Mexico.

Love is a twisted fucking thing. It´too complicted. All I know is I´m tired of getting dropped off at home by myself. I love being by myself but there are those fucking lines somewhere and they are invisible. When I cross them of being I am crossing into the world beyond apathy, the one where every consideration becomes a quest for contact. I´m so far past not caring.

It will be good next week to have something to do. I´m tired of doing nothing at all. I sat beside the road with a carton of banana milk (awesome btw!!!) and some psuedochip crispy jalepeno and limon flavoured shit.

Here the lemons are green. I found it SOOOOO confusing ahahah I´m so dumb sometimes.